More Mental Breakdowns.
I just feel so alone and like my whole body is on fire. I don’t even know what to do. I don’t want to do school. I don’t want to go to work. I don’t want to do anything anymore and I am so annoyed with everyone and everything.
My eyes are glazing over looking at my emails. All I am seeing are dates and blue letters. I’m supposed to put them on my google calendar for grad school but I can’t even do that. I have to redo a written assignment for class because I did it totally wrong because my brain is not working at all. Literally not working even a little bit, and I have had it with everyone in my house.
My grandmother has found a cousin of mine in the Philippines and is yelling at everyone to adopt him. I had no intention of adopting a child I can barely take care of myself right now. Now she is yelling at everyone and calling us ungodly for not taking care of this baby.
There is so much going on in my mind. I started a new medication and my depression has ramped up. Not to a dangerous level but to a different level than it has been. It just feels dank. Not dark. But dank. This depression feels like a sewer and a gross space made out of anger.
I put on a fake smile for my job interviews and I feel sick going to them knowing that I am dead inside. My resume looks amazing sans leaving my most recent job after 9 months. My…
