It really is.
Im exhausted with worrying about money. For hours on end I think about how I’m going to pay bills, how much I have, how much I’ve had. What am I going to save for? What am I spending it on? Why I’m spending it? How much more can I get?
For what? For a bigger house? For an electric car? For the new iPhone I don’t need?
It’s exhausting. Worrying about how much money I have has been an exhausting venture and it’s crazy making obsessing about new ways to make and save money.
My living situation isn’t perfect and based upon my income I can’t really make it better any time soon, but that’s okay.
The best moment I had with money was honestly lending it to a friend this week asking nothing in return. I don’t have that much money. But this friend was in need intensely and I really just felt moved to help them out, and honestly at that moment it hit me.
Money is meaningless.
We should all be helping each other out in this economy. We’re all so focused on ourselves and our goals. We should be figuring out ways to sustainably house others by giving some of our resources to others. Especially those we call friends.
Resources come and go. I’ve lived in lavish riches and I’ve lived out of my car. I’ve stayed with people who owned everything and some of my happiest memories I have were from when I had the least amount of money. When all I had was my spirit and a dream life was simpler. Sure I was sweating my bills constantly but life was a dramatic song filled with adventure and danger and trauma and beauty.
Id take that over creating the American dream for myself any day.
Money means nothing and we obsess over it like it’s everything. I think my relationship with money is about to change. It used to be this superficial need for more, but now I’m feeling this deep desire for what is. I desire to be happy with what I have.
I was listening to an annoying sermon the other day. As a church kid I do that from time to time when I long for the days of a pastor screaming in my ear.
The ultra capitalist annoying pastor said: God wants us to have it all. All the money. All of the things our heart desires.