I don’t have the strength to be silent anymore.

I am going back to her old ways.

I have been allowing her to speak through me because I can no longer hold her back

I can no longer keep her together

I got into this field to help her

I got into this and hid my face and dropped off of the earths equator to get her into a space where she could figure things out

Now she is more confused than ever

She is more tired than ever and she hasn’t learned anything

In fact she is unlearning

It’s terrible to watch

As I am too tired to hold her down. She is bubbling up and writing songs, poems, dancing, and playing video games.

She is staying up late, eating pizza and drinking carbonated beverages.

She is writing anarchistic emails to her superiors, arguing, and taking up space again.

A dangerous past time.

This broken clock wrong most of the time is living my life.

I hate her. But she’s here to stay.

I am envious of her bravery and her passion for making things fair. I tried to tell her it’s not fair and to just shut up and give up. Does she want more beatings from life…