Brain Fog

You had it all. You were able to think. Your brain was moving quickly. You felt like everything was electric. You were able to wake up in the morning. Then it rolled in. The slow creeping sensation.

Photo by Stefano Pollio on Unsplash

You were looking at a photo of someone online. Her hair was blond. Her eyeliner was flawless. Her songs you remembered. She’s from the 90’s. You think she had a song called Radioactive. Or was it Toxic? What song was it? Who is this person?What is her name? What the hell is her name? Who is this? What. Is. This.

Brain fog. These mental clouds roll in and all of your mental energy drains from your body. It takes your soul by surprise and you suddenly start questioning everything including reality itself and next thing you know it was 9:00 AM on a Tuesday and now it’s 5:00 PM on a Friday and you feel like nothing has been moving. The world kind of burns in the background while you stare at the screen wondering what this pop stars name was. She was dressed as a school girl once and wore a red jumpsuit…

You drive to work pondering who she is you play your NPR podcast where they tell you about the new COVID-19 numbers, and you just had COVID last week. But then you remember! She dated that guy whos hair looked like ramen noodles at some point. Uncooked. Blue eyes. Bye bye bye. Who is this person!? Why can’t you remember the names of two beloved 90’s celebrities!

As you settle into traffic it is intense. You are sitting down singing to yourself… “My lonliness..it’s eating? mee..(and I!) I must confess. I still…still believe. (Still believe) When your not with me I’m apple pie give me a siiiiggh? Hit me baby…what?” You begin to wonder if you’re having a stroke. The car seems really small as you duck from the sounds of a semi automatic on the freeway again. You crouch down. What is this persons name! God I have no clue! She was such a staple of your childhood. And the other guy. He stole so much black music with no apology but you listened to every song. He’s in the trolls soundtrack that your niece loves…Something about dancing.

A cop jumps on top of your car with a pistol and begins shooting at the young black man who is saying something along the lines of “I DIDN’T START SHOOTING…