Beginning to Choose Myself.
For real this time. Maybe.
Hello There. Is life getting a bit too lifey? Is everything mentally caving in? Is your heart palpitating? Did you quit a job even though you said you wouldn’t? Have you lost all sense of self and identity and you have no idea what is going on?
Welcome to the liminal space.
A liminal space is one where there is a transition like a road, a hallway, or a stairway only it goes on forever. Mental liminal space is the same. Dark. Infinite. Beautiful.
I was in the perfect space again. I had a steady source of income, insurance, and a nice identity to wear like a mink overcoat. I had an identity to hide in. It was good for now. But on the inside, I was sweating.
I have no idea what I am doing and I have no idea who I am and I have no idea where I’m going and this isn’t me this isn’t me this isn’t me…
I thought that voice would die down. I thought it would fall silent. I thought eventually I would fake it until I made it. That’s what they tell you, isn’t it? To fake it until you make it? Maybe I didn’t make it.
The overcoat of my false identity got too hot. I was sweating and I didn’t want to wear it. My other identities are too hot now too and I just want to lie on the floor and start over. Again.
